Mengapa Kita Bertemu
Bila Akhirnya Dipisahkan
Mengapa Kita Berjumpa
Tapi Akhirnya Dijauhkan
Kau Bilang Hatimu Aku
Nyatanya Bukan Untuk Aku
Bintang Di Langit Nan Indah
Dimanakah Cinta Yg Dulu
Masihkah Aku Disana
Di Relung Hati Dan Mimpimu
Andaikan Engkau Disini
Andaikan Tetap Denganku
Aku Hancur Ku Terluka
Namun Engkaulah Nafasku
Kau Cintaku Meski Aku
Bukan Di Benakmu Lagi
Dan Kuberuntung
Sempat Memilikimu...
Engkau Mengatakan
Merindukan Diriku Lagi
Ingin Ku Sampaikan
Ku Tak Hanya Sekedar Itu...
27.12.09
19.12.09
Wish you’ll read it…
I don’t know any way to tell you about this, so I’ll just write it. Wish you’ll read it…
It’s been awhile since everything about us was ended. Honestly, nothing is so terrible that I can’t handle. Over all, everything is fine. Hmm, there is only one question which comes up in my mind recently. When I contemplate this question, I find that it’s not as simple as I wonder. It’s complicated enough to be answered because I cannot recognize what I feel todays… ughh…poor me. Why I can’t totally escape from you? That is the question, the annoying one. I don’t say I want to turn back to you. I just couldn’t care less about you. I’m still on my prayer which you are in. Even though I never think or wish that you’ll care about it, I do it because I want to. Every time I want to remind you, my heart holds back. It tells me that I don’t deserve to do that, so I just pray. You’re not my happiness. I’m still happy without you, and my life seems better when we’re not together. However, I cannot pretend that I want you, still want you… It’s such a very ironic fact that I’ve ever had in my life. Dang it! I want to stop hoping about the miracle, but my heart tells not to. I don’t know why I really believe that someday the miracle will happen though it maybe happens not for me to get back. If I have to be honest with you or even with myself, I could tell that I want your feeling about me will be still the same. I know I’m selfish. I want you, but I couldn’t accept the way you are. God, please forgive me for having this selfish thought. It seems like I always have problems with your thoughts, your life, and your surroundings. But, the truth says something different. It says that no matter how hurt those things torture me, I’ll still long for you. Now I’m wondering whether I’m going insane. I’m a person who cannot escape from someone who is terrible enough in my view. Is it normal? I don’t think so, but yeah that has trapped me day by day. It’s complicated enough, rite? I don’t know what I need to do to face this strange part of life, except keep wishing the miracle to happen. Yeah, I admit that I still want you. I’m tired enough hearing people who says that I pretend to be careless about you. Hufft!
It’s been awhile since everything about us was ended. Honestly, nothing is so terrible that I can’t handle. Over all, everything is fine. Hmm, there is only one question which comes up in my mind recently. When I contemplate this question, I find that it’s not as simple as I wonder. It’s complicated enough to be answered because I cannot recognize what I feel todays… ughh…poor me. Why I can’t totally escape from you? That is the question, the annoying one. I don’t say I want to turn back to you. I just couldn’t care less about you. I’m still on my prayer which you are in. Even though I never think or wish that you’ll care about it, I do it because I want to. Every time I want to remind you, my heart holds back. It tells me that I don’t deserve to do that, so I just pray. You’re not my happiness. I’m still happy without you, and my life seems better when we’re not together. However, I cannot pretend that I want you, still want you… It’s such a very ironic fact that I’ve ever had in my life. Dang it! I want to stop hoping about the miracle, but my heart tells not to. I don’t know why I really believe that someday the miracle will happen though it maybe happens not for me to get back. If I have to be honest with you or even with myself, I could tell that I want your feeling about me will be still the same. I know I’m selfish. I want you, but I couldn’t accept the way you are. God, please forgive me for having this selfish thought. It seems like I always have problems with your thoughts, your life, and your surroundings. But, the truth says something different. It says that no matter how hurt those things torture me, I’ll still long for you. Now I’m wondering whether I’m going insane. I’m a person who cannot escape from someone who is terrible enough in my view. Is it normal? I don’t think so, but yeah that has trapped me day by day. It’s complicated enough, rite? I don’t know what I need to do to face this strange part of life, except keep wishing the miracle to happen. Yeah, I admit that I still want you. I’m tired enough hearing people who says that I pretend to be careless about you. Hufft!
12.12.09
Terlalu Mudah Goyah
Terlalu mudah goyah, itulah gambaran diriku yang sedang ku renungkan hari-hari ini. Ingin rasanya, menertawakan diriku. Lucu, bahakan untuk pikiranku sendiri. Aku senang sekali menjatuhkan diriku pada lubang itu…lubang kecewa lebih tepatnya. Padahal ada pepatah berkata: keledai saja tidak jatuh di lubang yang sama untuk kedua kalinya, tapi aku? Untuk kesekian kalinya aku berharap dan akhirnya jatuh dalam kekecewaan, tapi untuk kesekian kalinya juga Tuhan kirim seorang penolong. Seseorang yang kian hari kian membuatku berpikir…apa dia malaikat? Mengapa selalu ada ketika aku sedang apa-apa?
Ya, itulah kehidupan. Pada satu bagian, ada aku yang selalu berharap bahwa kamulah yang akan menjadi bahagiaku, meski sampai saat ini tak pernah ku temukan bahagia itu darimu. Di bagian yang lain, ada dia yang begitu tulus, yang selalu ada dalam setiap kekecewaan dan sakitku.
Sepertinya bodoh ya? Malah berharap pada orang yang tak mempedulikan keadaanku (perasaanku), padahal ada orang yang peduli sekali akan bahagia yang patut diraih oleh perasaanku. Yah..itulah diriku, terlalu mudah terbawa hanyut angan-angan semu. Ingin rasanya bisa menyadarkan diriku bahwa harapanku untukmu itu hanyalah angan semu yang tak tergapai. Ingin rasanya menghancurkan kebodohanku.
Masih butuh perjuangan memang, untuk bisa mewujudkan semua inginku itu.
Mungkin satu hal yang kini bisa dilakukan sebagai langkah awal adalah mengalihkan harapanku darimu kepada dia. Cukup adil bukan?
Ya, itulah kehidupan. Pada satu bagian, ada aku yang selalu berharap bahwa kamulah yang akan menjadi bahagiaku, meski sampai saat ini tak pernah ku temukan bahagia itu darimu. Di bagian yang lain, ada dia yang begitu tulus, yang selalu ada dalam setiap kekecewaan dan sakitku.
Sepertinya bodoh ya? Malah berharap pada orang yang tak mempedulikan keadaanku (perasaanku), padahal ada orang yang peduli sekali akan bahagia yang patut diraih oleh perasaanku. Yah..itulah diriku, terlalu mudah terbawa hanyut angan-angan semu. Ingin rasanya bisa menyadarkan diriku bahwa harapanku untukmu itu hanyalah angan semu yang tak tergapai. Ingin rasanya menghancurkan kebodohanku.
Masih butuh perjuangan memang, untuk bisa mewujudkan semua inginku itu.
Mungkin satu hal yang kini bisa dilakukan sebagai langkah awal adalah mengalihkan harapanku darimu kepada dia. Cukup adil bukan?
Why you choose this way?
I am wondering why...
Why you stand on this way?
Why you haven’t found another one?
Why you choose to be alone?
When I let go of you
I let you go with a sincere wish
I wish you’ll find the better one
The one who will be your happiness
Now you are totally free
But you still stay with your singleness
Completely catch my worry
Am I still your happiness?
Dear God…
May I wish once again?
I wish I could find the answer
Someday and somehow
May it won’t be the sad one
Why you stand on this way?
Why you haven’t found another one?
Why you choose to be alone?
When I let go of you
I let you go with a sincere wish
I wish you’ll find the better one
The one who will be your happiness
Now you are totally free
But you still stay with your singleness
Completely catch my worry
Am I still your happiness?
Dear God…
May I wish once again?
I wish I could find the answer
Someday and somehow
May it won’t be the sad one
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