Fine? Not fine?

inhale..exhale...
well i guess im fine...
yeah at least am trying to be...
...
...
...

daaaaaaaamn am not fine...i cannot pretend to be fine...
am totally not fine...
and this is becoz of you , okay it's just unfair if i blame you
so i'll blame myself who has let this feeling grow deeper and deeper.
and now i find myself stuck at this point..am trapped in this complicated (so called) situation!

my mind told me to give up, but my heart couldn't let this feeling go...
what's wrong with me ?!
i hate being in this circumstances...

kinda illogical...i let myself longing for the one who was just a stranger
the one who suddenly came up in my life by sending me a message
the one who made me smile only for a full week

it cannot be like this!
i let my heart to start loving someone who probably never think about me
even maybe i mean not that important for him
someone who just accidentally care about me

see? how come i can be this brave to take risks
to love a guy whom i don't even know when i'll see his face again...
and yes...it's torturing me for sure

don't know what to do...