My Confiding

Sometimes it feels hard when some parts of your life change.
When there is no more calling in midnight for instance, I feel something lost.
God I know my life is getting better without him, but I pretend if I don’t miss him.
I still feel hurt every time I see you fall in love
But when you say sorry and love recently, it still seems so hard to me to believe
Am I selfish or what? Is it fair enough for the two of us?
I don’t like being in the middle of my heart…

Do I need to hope? Again? I don’t think so... I’m too tired to hope he’ll change
Do I need to forget all about him? No, I can’t…
I’ve promised him that I’ll be still good with him.
What I gonna do then? Oh…God help me!
I’m stuck!

I wish I could remove him from my mind forever,
or at least I could convert my feeling about him,
or maybe I could wish about another solution.?! Hhmmmm
Wish I’ll have a new relationship with… ***** maybe? Hehe sounds good 
Now I’m wondering whether my wish will come true or not…

I surrender all to You, God. You know what I deserve
I also believe that You have more than thousands way to give what I deserve.

16.10.09